When I Was Puerto Rican

Mami is pregnant again, this time with Francisco’s baby. Francisco starts to have incredible stomach pain, which everyone think is appendicitis. Unfortunately, it is cancer. The family moves to a bigger place so that Tata can live with them and help take care of Francisco, whenever he is able to come home. In the hospital, he is almost literally wasting away before their eyes. It’s a shock and another reminder of mortality.

The baby, Franky, is born. Mami and Francisco come home from the hospital on the same day. For days, Francisco lies in bed with the baby, singing to him. His parents do not approve of him living with the Santiagos. They think he should be home with them, but he resists. On a trip to visit him in a hospital, he tells Mami that he has had a vision and has seen an angel. Mami tells him that it is nonsense, but days after being released into his parents’ care, he dies. Mami goes into mourning for a full year.

For several weeks after moving to Brooklyn, Esmeralda wrote letters to Papi, describing the city, her school, and more. When Delsa arrives from Puerto Rico, she tells Esmeralda that Papi has a new family and has married. After Mami took them to New York, he scattered his children among neighbors and rarely saw them. He almost completely disappeared from their lives. Esmeralda confronts Mami, who says that yes, Papi has a new family, and that he will never live with them again. Esmeralda writes to him and says that he is dead to her. Mami insists that they always remember him, and remember that he loves them. Esmeralda is unpersuaded.

Mami gets a job as a thread cutter in a factory, then quickly moves up to stitching work, which she enjoys. She works hard and is happiest when she is making things that she loves. She tells her children that hard work is what it takes to get ahead. Esmerald is increasingly aware of how much her mother has sacrificed to give her opportunities. However, she remains skeptical, thinking that Mami’s optimism might be false—a mask for the children’s sake. She does not believe that anyone who has had as many hard times as Mami could actually find reasons to smile.

She begins to have problems with her uncle Chico, who begins watching her closely when he drinks. One day, he pleads with her to open her shirt for him so he can see her breasts. He offers to pay her. She tells him to get away and he does. However, soon after, when he is near him, he pinches her nipple and tells her never to tell anyone. She is furious and disgusted. Is this what men do, even when they are family?

Mami loses her job and takes Esmeralda to the welfare office as her translator. Progress is slow and Mami quickly loses patience. When a worker is rude to her, she punches him. Esmeralda is embarrassed to see her mother lose control. She continues translating for other Puerto Ricans, however, and finds herself in a moral quandary: sometimes she knows the people are lying to get welfare. But she justifies her translation for them as helping the Puerto Ricans.

The neighborhood they live in is dangerous. Gangs and graffiti abound. Esmeralda is afraid and realizes that she’s heard so many horrible stories that every man starts to look like a potential rapist to her. She comes home to find Mami in a bad mood, annoyed that Esmeralda was out so late. She comes at her as if she’s going to hit her, but Esmeralda grabs her wrists and says that she will never let her hit her again. This is a huge shifting point in her independence and confidence.