Of Women and Salt

(Gloria, Mexico, 2016)

Gloria is initially afraid for Ana when she arrives at the detention center but is relieved to discover that Ana is resilient. Gloria and Ana must share a single cot, but they manage; Ana, sensing Gloria’s tension, doesn’t pester her about where they are or why. Ana doesn’t like the food or her new school, where she isn’t allowed to speak Spanish, even with the children who don’t understand English. Gloria recalls when Christian missionaries came to visit them in El Salvador, and “how they delighted in everything we eschewed, favored the grubbiest clothes and the simplest food despite the rolls of bills in their lanyard wallets” (85). This confused Gloria: They venerated her for being happy with so little, but to her, she was simply surviving.

Ana and Gloria spend just under a month at the detention center together before they’re deported. Even though they’re from El Salvador, the immigration officers drop them off in Mexico and tell them to find their own way home. At this point, Gloria tells Ana why they left El Salvador and why they can’t return. Gloria’s brother owned a small store, for which he had to pay dues to the local gang. After he fell behind on payments, and after several warnings, the gang raped Gloria as a final warning. This rape resulted in Gloria’s pregnancy with Ana. Six months after Ana was born, the gang killed Gloria’s brother, so Gloria fled to the US. Gloria therefore thinks that returning to El Salvador is too dangerous and instead decides to remain in Mexico. She knows that they’re likely to experience hardship and persecution there too but believes it’s the best of several bad choices.

(Carmen, Miami, 2016)

Carmen is setting the house up for Thanksgiving with her extended family when she’s surprised to hear a loud growl. She’s only been to a zoo once before, so she isn’t sure what wild cats sound like, but she thinks it’s the sound of a wild beast of some kind. She goes out to investigate; when she hears it again, she thinks it’s coming from her neighbor’s house across the street. She returns inside to shower and dress for the party and then crosses the street to knock on her neighbor’s door. No one answers, but she sees what look to be spots of blood on the driveway. Inside, she hears footsteps and then what sounds like a loud sigh and purring. She imagines, with some relish, a wild animal devouring her family members at dinner.

Jeanette is just out of another stint in rehab, and this will be her first visit in years, after Carmen cut off ties with her until she could prove her sobriety. Jeanette arrives last; she says that Mario, her one-time boyfriend, is on the way, which surprises and angers Carmen. Jeanette insists that Mario is sober now too and that they’re just friends. She adds that her mother can’t judge her relationships. Despite Carmen’s insistence on no alcohol at dinner, she sees one of the guests, Pepe, pour something from a flask into his drink. She tries to investigate, but her niece, Vanessa, beats her to it, taking the glass to the kitchen to dispense of the alcohol. Vanessa tries to ask about Jeanette, but Carmen leaves to keep tabs on her. Mario arrives, and Jeanette makes a point of cheerfully reacquainting them.

At dinner, Pepe makes a point of asking about Carmen’s mother, Dolores, even though he knows that Carmen and Dolores don’t speak to one another. He then tells Jeanette that Dolores won’t stop asking about her and that Dolores wants Jeanette and her cousin Maydelis in Cuba to reunite the family. Jeanette says that she and Maydelis email often and that she’d love to visit. Vanessa tells the family that she learned that their ancestors worked at a cigar factory in Cuba and that they can still buy those cigars today. Mario steps outside to smoke a cigarette. Carmen, frustrated by all the talk of Cuba, steps outside as well. She watches him take out a pill, and when he’s startled by a growl from across the street, Carmen confronts him and accuses him of being back on drugs. Mario is too startled to speak, but shows her the pill bottle, which turns out to be an antacid prescription. They silently return to the house.

While cleaning up, one of the children brings some dishes to Carmen in the kitchen. Carmen accidentally calls her Ana; she remembers who Ana is and then thinks about the news on immigration raids and detention camps. She dislikes the way her generation believes that they’re better than other immigrants, and she regrets handing Ana over to the police. Jeanette walks into the kitchen, and the child, Lila, leaves. Jeanette tells Carmen that she and Mario are leaving because she feels like everyone is judging her, most of all Carmen. She criticizes Carmen for continuing to lie about her father’s abuse. Carmen wonders if she really cut ties with Jeanette because she reminded her too much of that mistake. Jeanette hid the abuse until Julio died; when Carmen accused Jeanette of disrespecting her father’s memory by showing up to his funeral drunk, Jeanette lashed out and told Carmen that the reason for her substance abuse issues was that Julio had molested her. Rather than comforting her daughter or even believing her, however, Carmen questioned her, and Jeanette stormed off. At Thanksgiving dinner, Jeanette criticizes her mother for barely discussing the revelation in the years since; Carmen wishes that Jeanette could instead learn to live without bringing up her past trauma. Jeanette, unable to answer, excuses herself.

Carmen again crosses the street to her neighbor’s house. She tries to look in through the windows but can’t see anything, so she sneaks into the backyard and enters the house through the back door. In the house, she finds a large cage; inside it, a Florida panther sleeps, and a trail of blood runs from a still-bloody piece of meat to the cage door. Carmen marvels “at the similarities between the panther and her cat Linda” (108). The cat wakes up and begins hissing at her to stay away; Carmen briefly imagines what it would be like to smear herself in blood and offer herself as a sacrifice, but when she hears her neighbor arrive back home, she collects herself and returns the way she came. She considers calling the police or animal control, but eventually decides to keep her neighbor’s secret. Five years later, the panther escapes the cage and mauls her neighbor.